The Joy of Forgiveness

I recently received an email from a friend in which he verbally (or I suppose orthographically) wronged me. My first reaction was anger; I got mad. Then I got furious. The more I thought about it, the madder I got. 

I wrote an email to respond to him. My response was a delicate blend of inoffensive and biting at the same time—oh, it felt good to passive-aggressively put him in his place (what's more passive-aggressive than Internet retaliation?). Then as I was contemplating hitting the send button, a wave of Scriptures came to my mind.

…If you don't forgive your brother, neither will your Father in heaven forgive you…

…How many times should I forgive my brother? … Not seven, but seventy times seven…

…Like a lamb being led to the slaughter, he didn't say a word...

I remembered one of the natural by-products God's grace is meant to produce in me: that I might show grace to others. So I reluctantly prayed through gritted teeth, "Okay, fine. Lord, help me forgive him" and deleted the email; we worked it out peacefully once I was calm.

It was so difficult to pray that prayer that a question came to my mind: Why did God forgive me? What prompted God to do such a painfully unnatural thing?

The first answer that came to mind is because Jesus died to allow it; God shows me grace because when He looks at me, He sees the blood of Christ that covers me (2 Cor. 5.21)

Okay, fair enough. But then why did Christ decide to give me grace and die for me? The answer: To obey His Father, who willed that He do so (Is. 53.10, John 10.18).

Okay, fair enough. But why did the Father will that? The answer: "For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son" (John 3.16).

Okay, fair enough. But there's a deeper question, the question behind all my other questions: WHY DID GOD LOVE THE WORLD?

Clearly we are taught in the Bible that there is nothing naturally lovable in us; we are totally depraved (Jer. 17.9, Rom. 3.10-18). It also says that God didn't need us in order to be happy; He is and always has been completely self-sufficient (Acts 17.25).

So why would a just God choose to love and redeem disgusting, wrath-worthy sinners? It kills me to show mercy to someone who doesn't deserve it; what motivated God to do the same for me?

It's important to note that God delights in both justice and mercy (Jer. 9.24). This is why Paul said in Romans 9.19-23 that God predestined some to mercy and some to wrath—He is glorified by both. God is glorified by showing His mercy to sinners; He is also glorified by showing His power to judge. So both are—and should be—present.

But over and over, the Bible describes God in the following way: "The Lord, the Lord, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness" (Ex. 34.6, see also Num. 14.18, Neh. 9.17, Ps. 86.15, Ps. 103.8, Ps. 145.8, Joel 2.13, Jonah 4.2, Nah. 1.3—nearly every passage contains an identical description).

So yes, there is wrath. Yes, there is anger. But that anger is restrained. It is slow, while His love is abounding, and His mercy and grace are woven into the very fabric of His character. That is, there is something inherently delightful to God in love, mercy and forgiveness. While it pleases God to show His power by pouring out just wrath on sinners, it pleases Him abundantly to show sinners sovereign love.

My initial reaction to my friend was not a result of my depraved heart—it was a just reaction that came out in me because I was made in the image of God. God feels indignation and anger over unjust acts, so it is right for me to feel the same way. As Paul said, "Be angry and do not sin" (Eph. 4.26); it is possible.

But my depravity came out in my reaction to Jesus's insistence that I forgive my friend. It showed that my twisted heart doesn't understand what is truly joy-producing. It showed that while God is slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love, I am rather quick to anger and lacking in love. That is, my anger wasn't wrong at first, but it quickly became disproportionate; it crossed the line into sin when it didn't give way to love.

The call of the church, the call of all Christians, is to "make disciples of all nations…teaching them to obey all that I have commanded you" (Matt. 28.19-20). What did Jesus teach? What was his message? That wrath is coming, but that grace is offered. That God is just, but that He desires to save. If my life only proclaims the former and not the latter, I am disobedient to my call and quenching the Spirit in me.