It's been a long while since I've given an update on our new lives and what we've been doing. I'll be writing at least semi-regularly on exactly what it is that we're doing here, but an update (and a quick lesson learned) will have to suffice for today.
Since my last post, we have done what we set out to do: we left our beautiful house in Vernon and moved to Lognes, a town about a half hour east of Paris, to intern with Acts 29 Europe under pastor Philip Moore. This of course was a feat in itself, since it happened very quickly, and we needed to find jobs and a place to live before our move.
For employment, God came through. We were able to keep our jobs and work from home, by telephone. It's been a surprising joy for both of us—how many couples get to eat every meal together?
A family from the church we're interning with graciously agreed to let us rent the apartment located on the second floor of their house (they occupy the ground floor) and at a very low cost. On top of the practical relief, it has allowed us to get to know these downstairs neighbors, the Finleys, in a much closer way than we normally would have (the door off our staircase opens next to their kitchen). Again, God came through.
We have also been worried about our finances, as our salaries have taken a substantial hit: I (Jason) am now working only part-time, in order to follow the internship, and Loanne works part-time as well in order to be with Jack as much as possible; all told, our salaries were cut by about 40%. Then this week, God sent us an unexpected gift that will allow us to begin the search for funding from partners willing to support us, and begin searching without worry. God came through, in spite of difficulty, in spite of pain. Again.
I shouldn't have been surprised, but I was. I am one of those morose sorts who keenly sees his weaknesses and has a hard time seeing his strengths (I so identify with David Brainerd that I find it difficult to read his autobiography: it hits a little too close to home). But over the last few months I have learned that this may be a blessing in disguise, for it allows me to see the hand of God at work, perhaps more keenly than I would if I felt I could do it on my own.
In Isaiah 41, God gives a promise to his people, a promise that, if taken to heart, will not only hold us firm and steady, but also make us entirely dependent on him. In verse 14, he says, "Fear not, you worm Jacob". You worm Jacob! Now here's a nickname I can identify with! God doesn't tell me I'm awesome; he doesn't tell me, "You can do it!" He is not a cheerleader. He tells the truth: I am a worm. I am small. I am unable to do the work before me.
But fear not! The resounding cry of this passage has been a great relief to my heart at countless moments in the past, and will be, I'm sure, for countless more. "Fear not, for I AM WITH YOU; be not dismayed, for I AM YOUR GOD. I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand" (v. 10).
Fear not—not because you can do it, but because I CAN. Fear not—not because you have all the resources you need, but because I DO. And I am your God.
My prayer for my life, my family, my ministry, is that it may be evident that God was the one behind it. I want to see things happen that only God can take credit for. Like the jobs, like the apartment, like all the rest. We did nothing for these things; they fell into our laps.
So did grace. So did Christ. So did election and forgiveness and mercy. God dropped them into our laps, for his good pleasure.
My prayer is this: whatever we do, may it not be attributed to us. May it be crystal clear that in all our work, it was God working in us all along, to will and to work for his good pleasure.
My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus' blood and righteousness
I dare not trust the sweetest frame
But wholly lean on Jesus' name
On Christ the solid rock I stand
All other ground is sinking sand
All other ground is sinking sand
